While the pill kicks in…

From my journal dated June 24th 2012

So I’m not going to lie; I’m mostly writing this now, at 10:20 p.m. on a Sunday night because I hope it will help me kind of practice my writing before my English 12 exam which is tomorrow morning.

And forgive me if these words sound slightly slurred or jumbled; I just took a sleeping pill and I’m waiting for it to kick in. I took the pill because I have a huge and important day tomorrow and want to get a good night’s sleep and not be up all night fretting and being anxious.

Because there is lots to fret about; this English exam is worth 40% of my final mark and I need a high mark to keep some of my scholarships.

And I am anxious about going to a party called “Rock the Boat” tomorrow night. Caleb asked me (yes, a boy asked me out) and though it’s not my kind of party (nightclub, dubstep, drunks, etc) I decided to go.

I’m mostly nervous about seeing Caleb again because I haven’t seen him since the night of his grad and I kissed him on the cheek when he dropped me off. I have no regrets about that, but now I’m worried that he might expect something more tomorrow night. The thing is that I still feel that I don’t know him enough to decide whether or not I like him “in that way.” And a club party with electronic music blasting in your eyes (sic) isn’t the best way to get to know somebody.

Anyways, I feel the drugs kicking in now… Wish me luck for tomorrow! I’m going to need all the help I can get!

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