A lonely confession

From my journal, dated December 4th, 2013

I’m not going to lie: I’m pretty frustrated with Stephanie at the moment. I had asked her a couple questions related to campaign organizing and it’s been over 2 weeks now without a response. I don’t know whether it makes it worse or better, the fact that she twice sent me “I’ll message you soon; I’ve been so swamped lately” messages.

I know she’s busy; she always has been. I do understand that and I don’t think she’s purposely putting me off; she’s most likely swamped with things.

Confession: to check this and just to make myself feel a bit better by being “bad,” I logged onto her Facebook (yep I know the password). Isn’t that a horrible thing to do? To read her personal messages?

Well, she actually didn’t have many recent ones, which confirmed her busyness.

But still, I feel a bit hurt. Is our friendship really so low on her priority list?

Personally I think that friendships + relationships are to be very much valued, often above school and other things. Now that is obviously because of the scarcity of my relationships and the (over)excellence of my academics. But still. Couldn’t she take 2 minutes to send me a hello?

Maybe I’m just lonely and jealous of her fantastic-fulfilling-fun-filled-amazing-over-achieving-perfect life.

Yes, I’m bitter.

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